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This is a selection made from among articles on Family Happiness Tolstoy Notes. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for future reading, click here.

Love and Happiness: What to Do when Things Start to Fail

from: Christine Gray

Love or happiness? Many people equate love with happiness. Truly, when you are in love, you must be happy. If you no longer find happiness in loving, then the value is spoiled.

We find it hard to sustain a relationship when we begin to stop looking for justifications in everything we do, say holding on. Pain may shroud the love we have first started then anger would fill the gaps. The more we look for reasons behind the actions to sustain the love, the more frustrated we get. Until we eventually arrive to the conclusion that we never loved, instead we console ourselves with the belief that we only felt compassion or affection. And again as this conviction grows we become angry at things we don’t understand.

It is inevitable that people in relationships collide. Whether it is a personal relationship or a bond that you are managing to strengthen within a group of people, we can’t escape the fact that we always have to interact with people, both we like and we don’t like. The bigger the circle of people gets, the more collisions occur. And with each collision, unhappiness arises especially when our love for these people begins to fade.

We cannot exactly say that in relationships, love and happiness are always equated to the degree of closeness or affection the people involved shows. However, where one stays the other follows. If there is happiness then there must be love that accompanies it. And where love exists, happiness empowers the entities involved.

So long as an object of our focus provides us with happiness, we continue to love. But when the point comes that we begin to feel the need to detach ourselves from that object because it somehow has caused us pain and discouragement, we begin to feel hate or simply turn indifferent. Thus, just by leaving, that person or object brightens our day.

This should not be the case and this must never be. However, it seems to be the only course we anticipate when love and happiness leaves.

A friend once said- a good start is never good until it is pushed through. Don’t settle yourself with an initial state of love and happiness. Come to think of it, when you leave a relationship or start to discard your once object-of-love-and-happiness, you are loosing too much and will loose more.

Be optimistic, it all lies in the positive mind that you will maintain throughout the duration of your stay in a relationship. Not everything will turn out the way we want them to be. In fact, there are so many things that will never create a good ending. But the difference happens when we begin to take stock of our relationship and acknowledge the danger of not making it through because one believed not in holding on but in drifting away.

If you cant say anything nice and know for a fact that your words are the exact causes of you downfall from happiness and love then stop saying anything. Instead, keep quiet and have your partner do all the talking until both of you realize the extent of damage your words have caused you.

Relationships fall because of the lack of bliss and laughter. It is good to be loony and silly at times, this will help you feel both happiness and increased love.

There is never a satisfaction in playing safe. You wont be hurt, yes but you’ll be deprived of true love. So don’t be afraid, love deeply and compromise things for the object of your love.

C Gray is a recognized authority on the subject of happiness. Her website www.selfimprovementsguide.com provides a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything you will need to know about self improvement. All rights reserved. Articles may be reprinted as long as the content and links remains intact and unchanged.

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