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This is a selection made from among articles on Spinoza Self Esteem. For a permanent link to this article, or to bookmark it for future reading, click here.


from: Christine P Gray

Building our children’s self esteem is probably one of the best gifts we can give them early in life. If we teach our children to be self reliant and to believe in their ability to achieve things, then wouldn’t become too worried when they eventually grow up, because we are confident that they will make well calculated decisions.

To be able to breed children who are ready to tackle any challenges in life and see failure as merely a stepping stone than a hindrance, it is our responsibility as parents to instill in them the values of independence, self reliance, confidence and self esteem.

Children who are independent are able to think for themselves, instead of looking to us and waiting for answers for every little thing that happens, whether positive or negative. Our kids should be able to work out problems by themselves at an early age, otherwise, they will end up as adults who simply stay on the sidelines and watch the world go by unnoticed.

The world we live in today is filled with violence. Whether we like it or not, we cannot forever shield our kids from this kind of environment. At one point, we will have to let go and let them wander off and develop personalities of their own. Stifling this growth by keeping our children under very close watch would be a disservice to them. Remember, we don’t own our kids. They are not our puppets. They have unique abilities and personalities that need to be developed and honed.

Encourage them to go for their dreams.

Most parents discourage their kids to go for big dreams for fear that the challenges along the way and the failures will only bring hurt and disappointment. This is wrong. Parents should encourage their children to go for anything they set their minds and hearts into, because failure is an inevitable part of life. It is through failure that we learn. It is through failure that we figure out how to more effectively deal with the next challenge that comes along.

Set your kids free

You can’t forever make decisions for your children. You have to let them grow at their own pace and at their own time. If their choices are different from what you would have wanted for them, let them be. Your responsibility is to watch from the sidelines and ensure that they don’t stray from the path they chose, not to control their every move. If they make mistakes, fine. Instead of fixing their problems for them, teach them to pick themselves up and try once more.

Believe in your children

If you don’t show your kids that you believe in their ability to achieve their dreams, then it isn’t likely that they will be able to accomplish anything. Remember, our children often look to us for guidance and support, even when they already become adults. Our acceptance and encouragement is vital. If you don’t believe, neither will they.

Show them you care.

Even if our children make mistakes, we should always show them that we are there to support them every step of the way. Sure, our kids do not and will not always make the best decisions. And we will see them cry when they fail. In order to help them regain the strength to fight again, we should show them that failing is natural to human life and that we, as parents, are always there to help them get back on track. Nobody is perfect. Not our children. Not even us.

As parents, we can only do so much for our children to prepare them for the life ahead of them. We cannot and should not hold onto them forever. Each of our kids are unique individuals who each have their own purpose in this world. Let them grow and flourish.

Christina P. Gray is a recognized authority on the subject of self esteem. Her website provides a wealth of informative articles and resources on everything you will need to know about self improvement. All rights reserved. Articles may be reprinted as long as the content and links remains intact and unchanged.

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